What’s at Stake / A Universal Theme

When you write a memoir you may think it’s about you and your journey, but it can only find an audience if it’s about a universal truth or problem.

One of the examples that hit home was about Marion’s mother who had dementia, but her book wasn’t about her mother and her dementia (that would be a diary memoir – which is one of the formats I don’t like).

Instead the memoir was about the importance of defining boundaries in her care relationship with her mother, so that she could retain her health. Whereas her mother’s dementia is about her mother and her and her own personal story, the issue of defining boundaries to save your sanity is a universal problem, that will appeal to a wider audience.

This universal problem is the base of your memoir’s hook, and is an important part of defining what’s at stake. In Marion’s example, her sanity is at stake, and the memoir is about how she put boundaries in place to save herself and her relationship with her mum.

When you write a memoir you need to know what problem you’re trying to solve. What’s your predicament? What do you want to change?

One of the biggest hurdles when writing a memoir is that imposter syndrome feeling of – “why would anyone want to read about my life and my story?” But if your life illustrates how you solved a problem that is universal, it’s no longer about YOUR life, it’s about how you can help others improve THEIR lives.

It’s all about your audience—and their problems. Not about you.

My Memoir Act One: What’s at stake 

When I look at the travel memoir I’m trying to write, I’ve been plagued with how to define a theme. So applying this same scenario to my story: My memoir isn’t about my story (the plot line) of quitting my corporate career to move to Turkey, it’s about finding the universal problems people face in the same situation. 

I’ve started to make a list of what I was giving up or not getting:

• Giving up security and well paying job to live an unconventional life
• Giving up business class travel, expense account, opportunity to travel to places I’d never visited before.
• Living a life of compromise with my husband.
• Disappointing Mum, because so proud of what I’d achieved.
• Not meeting society expectations (family, house, car). Feeling I had to confirm to society pressures.
• Mum Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and I want to move closer
• Worried about not having enough money to be able to support the lifestyle I was yearning for.
• Having to overcome the financial difficulties of giving up the comfort of a lucrative career to become a nomad.
• Overcoming resistance from MOH and friends.

These (and others) are problems and challenges relevant to me and my story, but I need to look at them from a broader perspective. What universal themes do they fall under?

My memoir has to be the story that illustrates how I overcome the hurdles and challenges, and each of the scenes I choose to include in the book need to contribute to the universal theme I settle on.

Next Steps

I need to look at the story I want to tell and define what’s at stake so that I can identify the universal theme that ties my chapters together. At the moment I’m focused on writing, and writing, and writing. I’m hoping that through that process of free writing that my universal theme will bubble to the top. I’m just writing what comes from the heart (which is actually coming from my sub-conscious) – and through this approach I’m confident that my universal theme will show itself organically.

I have a sense that writing a memoir is going to be an uphill battle. Two-steps forward and one step back, but once I’ve untangled the elements, I’m going to end up with a memoir I’m happy to publish.

If you’re on the same path, and want to write your memoir and are looking for some inspiration (or can provide some inspiration), please join in the conversation in the comments section below and lets get our memoirs written.

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Theme	Characters	Plot